Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2, NLT)
We all have certain ways of acting and reacting to situations and events in our lives. This is especially true with our husbands. A simple forgotten errand or a refusal to help with household chores could start World War III in our homes. Maybe you have experienced this – the hurt, the pain, the resentment, the bitterness, the anger. It eats away at you. And when these emotions take root inside, instead of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness, the Lord cannot do His work in you. He cannot transform you.
Jesus is a gentleman. He is not going to force His way into any part your life. If you want to live with the negative emotions, you can. But, He does not want you to live there. He wants you to live an abundant life in your marriage. He wants you to have a beautiful, loving marriage, just as He intended back in the Garden. He wants that for you so very much.
But, my dear sweet friends, He cannot help you if you do not let Him.
Transform, Transformed (v) – to change the outward appearance of; to change in character or condition.
Letting Jesus in to begin transforming your marriage means that He is going to start by transforming YOU, not your husband. That is not an easy thing to swallow. There are not too many of us that enjoy change. It is difficult and scary. And this type of change is made more challenging because it will cause us to look at how we are acting and reacting to the situations and events in our lives and in our marriages. It will shape us and refine us and strip us of what we are desperately holding onto (remember those negative emotions?). This change will cause us to look at our daily battles in a new light.
And this change means loving our husbands with the unconditional love that Jesus pours out on us.
I know some of you may be reading this and thinking that you cannot get past the hurt, anger, or resentment that have been building up for years. I just want to tell you, and this goes for whether your husband is a believer or unbeliever, God can change your marriage. HE CAN. But it starts with YOU. It starts with you laying down all of the hurt at the feet of Jesus and asking Him to take over. Ask Him to show you what you can do. He will convict your heart through the Holy Spirit. He will teach you and mold you and shape you into the woman He designed you to be.
The question is: Are you ready to let Him do it?
Let the transformed life (and marriage) begin!
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Let’s Pray:
Father, today, right now I (insert your name) give my marriage over to you. I believe that You can transform me and my marriage into something amazing Lord and I trust you with all of it. Please give me a sense of peace and security as I begin this journey with you, Lord. Burn away anything that is not of You and fill me up completely with your Holy Spirit. Convict me of anything that is not pleasing in your sight. Show me how love my husband the way You love him, Lord, with an unconditional love. Provide me with strength and courage in Jesus name, Amen!
Your Assignment:
Taking the step to begin living a transformed life is not easy. It means doing everything differently. Did you pray that prayer and invite Jesus in to transform your marriage? How do you feel? Do you feel a change can happen? Comment below and tell me your thoughts. Then come over to the Secret Facebook group and let’s dig a little deeper into how we can transform our lives in a practical way.
Many Blessings on your day,
Jennifer
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For the “Winning Him Without Words” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!
thank you, friend, for your encouragement to do it (our marriages) God's way. you are so right, the transformation brought about by our God will most definitely happen in us first! and, yes, i prayed your sweet prayer along with you! <3
Love you, Coleen!!! 🙂
<3 I love this so much Jennifer <3 Praying for all of our tender hearts today as we let Jesus in <3
Thanks Megan! You played a part in this post today! Thanks! 🙂
Thanks Jennifer for the great reminder today. I try to keep my focus on this truth but somedays are just hard. Thank you for your prayer today, I have prayed it with you and now looking forward to what God has in store for me and my husband. 🙂
Yay Jennifer!! So happy to hear this. Yes, we will have stumbles and hard days. And that is OKAY. The important part is that we don't stay there. We just ask God what's next! 🙂
Love this post, Jennifer! This chapt. has convicted me too. The change begins with ME! 🙂
Thanks, Sarah!! Such a hard thing to grasp, especially when we want things to change in our hubby. But, we can only change what we are capable of changing (w/ God's help!) – and that is what is within us! God will do what He needs to do in our hubby's heart! <3
Thank you Jennifer 🙂 I prayed this prayer asking God to be with me as I continue this journey. I want to be like Abraham, who hoped even when there was no reason to hope because he knew God could be trusted to keep His promises. I am ready to lay it all down and let go of things I have been holding on so tightly to.
So proud of you. And what a great Biblical figure to aspire to! You may need to pray this every day, or multiple times every day! But you can do it. Let God lead you and show you what to do. He will guide your steps. <3
This was a really great blog, I know it begins with us, what happens though when you've had enough? He has gotten really down right ugly and so verbally abusive, I mean just plain ole sick! I am supposed to love him unconditionally and not be like the world. Laying our hurt at His feet, I can't! I can't get over the hurt and bitterness, we don't know how to have a happy Blessed marriage, well especially when he says I don't need God. What do I do? I want to pray but seriously don't know how. I seriously want God to speak to me telling me what to do, how to do! Is that even possible to even have that and say "Lord, let it begin with me"?
Hey Patti <3 My heart breaks for you and I would encourage you to speak to a pastor at church that you trust for guidance <3 I will continue to pray, dear one <3
Patti… anytime there is physical or verbal abuse happening, it is time to seek additional help. Even if your husband does not want to go to counseling, I think you should look into it for yourself. Talk to your pastor or find a Christian counselor who can direct you and help you work through this situation. I will be praying for you. <3
ok my husband came home from work wanting to talk. He asked what we can do for our living arrangements here, I told him either he leaves or seriously I call unity home, I told him I could not take it anymore, or he could go to counseling, Christian counseling! Is he willing for that? He said he would, he will call Pastor, he will set up an appt. he said he would get the help. He asked for Pastors phone number. He is gonna call the pastor where we used to go, he likes him, he knows about us. Ok fine, if he'll talk since we haven't been there in 3 weeks. He likes it there but I want to find somewhere else. Anyways, he said he wants to work at the marriage and so he will call for help!! Right now he just went to the store for me that is why I'm typing in peace and privacy!!