A Daughter’s Worth: Week 7 / Day 2 – Children Must Obey

I have to admit something.  I was born with a rebellious spirit.  Really, I was…and…it didn’t go away just because I got older.  I am the firstborn.  I have two younger brothers…and I wanted a sister or nothing at all.  They could have those boys back!!!  I never let my parents, or my brothers forget that I wanted a sister.  It didn’t matter.  It didn’t matter how much I whined or complained or made everyone miserable, I still had brothers.  (sigh)  Mom said, “Go help your brother” and you KNOW what was going on in my mind.  (No need to put those words here)  You know what they were.  If they broke something, I got in trouble.  If they cried, I got yelled at.  Can you believe I still remember that stuff?  It really doesn’t matter anymore.  We are all grown-ups with families of our own.  But still, Mom said help and I helped.

I had times that I didn’t want to do the chore list that my mom and dad left for me to do, especially in the summer.  Why didn’t I get to be lazy in the summer?  I just got out of school and now I have a massive chore list.  I got old enough to get my permit and then driver’s license.  I couldn’t wait to get a car and a job and, and FREEDOM.  Somehow things never worked out the way I planned.  I was 18 before I got that job and I shared my mom’s car.  I was 21 before I had a car of my own with all the bills that go with it.  Hmmm.  Why wasn’t my life working out like I thought it should?  Why were my parents putting all these restrictions on my FREEDOM?

Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

I looked up the definition of DISCIPLINE and it says this:  discipline n. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

So, my parents wanted me to grow up with a specific character that reflected good moral and mental behaviors????  Who’d a thunk it???  When I began thinking about raising my own daughters, I wanted to go even one step further and make sure they knew from Day 1 what and why I wanted them to do the things I asked them to do.  I wanted to be the kind of mom they could look up to.  A mom they could talk to and ask questions of.  I wanted to always point them back to God and the Scriptures.

My favorite guide for raising my daughters is found in Deuteronomy 6:7-9.  It says, “Repeat them (laws, traditions, scriptures) again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.  8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”  There is no question that my girls (or their friends) can’t ask me.  I will answer every question as honestly and biblically as I possibly can.

So I tried to do everything RIGHT with my girls.  I tried to answer all their questions; even the hard ones.  I took them to church, taught them to serve and then one day my oldest daughter went off to college.  We sent her off to discover life for herself, with godly discipline and character behind her.  And then…we were disappointed.  There is a reason Solomon tells us in Proverbs 22:6 to “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”  Even though I had taught my daughter the best way I knew how, she had to learn life lessons on her own.  I had to love her enough to let her learn the hard way.  I asked her if she would like to share some things she learned during that time in her life.  Her name is Michele and she will be 23 in December.  Here is what she had to share with you guys:

I think I was a little different than most teenagers.  Starting at 13, I understood my parents reasoning behind the rules, and that probably saved my life.  Most teens go through a phase where they feel like their parents don’t know anything about the teenager’s life and what they’re going through, so they must not know what they’re talking about.  As a result, they’ll stray a bit and rebel against their parents rules, maybe go to church less often or not at all.  My time of rebellion was once I graduated high school and moved away to college.  Because I was insistent on doing my own thing and thinking I knew best, God was not at the top of my priority list.  I hardly ever thought about Him or asked his opinion.  When my parents asked if I was going to church on the weekends, my excuse was “I don’t have time.”  Of course I didn’t have time, because I didn’t make time.  You make time for things that are important to you.

Ok, so about obeying your parents…you obey because God has commanded you to.  In fact, the first commandment in the bible with a promise attached to it is Exodus 20:12.  “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”  Sounds to me like that’s kind of important.

If your parents are Christians, you obey them knowing they are striving to teach you what is right and want the best for you.  No parent is perfect, just like no teenager is perfect.  The way to deal with that is to LOVE.  This is my biggest thing lately.  Love your parents enough to see their intentions and forgive them when they make the wrong choice in how to deal with something.

If your parents are not Christians, there is always a chance that the way they are leading is not in line with God’s law.  What do you do then?  Just blow them off and have a bad attitude, treating them like they’re stupid?  NO!  According to Romans 13:1, everyone must submit to authority.  In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus says your first priority/responsibility is to love God with everything in you.  So, God’s commands are MOST important.  And the second is to love others as yourself (or as God loves you).  The key to obeying the rules, laws, and commandments is to Love God and Love People.

If your parents are asking you to do something you believe is wrong, you still must respect and honor them, but you CAN tell them how you feel.  If you are following God and respectfully informing your parents that you do not agree and don’t feel comfortable doing what they have asked.  If you are in line with the Bible, then you have fulfilled your responsibilities.  But you must ALWAYS respect authority.

<3 Michele Bolme<3

ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW!!!  So when Solomon said that if I taught my daughter right, gave her discipline and showed her how to live like Jesus, then one day when she walked away to do her own thing, she WOULD return to God because she LOVES HIM.  I am one thankful Mom.  Now only 7 more daughters to go. (sigh, sigh and sigh some more)

Much love to you all……………………  Mama T

Pray with Me:

Heavenly Father, we know you love us and that you discipline us because you love us.  We thank you for loving us enough to give us parents who want us to grow up with a good character and a love for YOU and for other people.  Please forgive us when we get distracted and don’t put you first.  Keep loving us until we come back to you.  Father, I pray for each heart reading this blog today.  Make their hearts soft and ready to serve you.  We love you Abba, Father.  Amen

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