Oh I have been there. You know that place. The place where you tie your self worth to a man, or whether or not you have a man? Truth be told I still reside there some days. My big issue, since I was young, is that I am never good “enough”. So the fact that after 41 years I am still alone, it just makes me think that those people in my life when I was younger were absolutely right. I’m not good enough and I’ll never be good enough for anyone to love me and want to tell the world they want to be with me for the rest of their life. It’s not always easy. But ladies, this is not where He wants us. He wants us to be secure in His love. What more should we need?
Part of today’s reading assignment brought up issues we have all discussed earlier in the book: Once we put our trust in God to bring us the man He has chosen for us, how much pursuit do we engage in? The authors clearly tell us that we shouldn’t pursue a man. The question that raised for me is “Well, what does that mean? Should we just sit back and wait for this man to knock on our door?” I don’t know if that is the answer. I don’t think relentlessly going after someone, repeatedly, without much reciprocation is the answer either. Isn’t there a happy medium? I believe we can make ourselves available to possibilities without turning ourselves into a servant or doormat to the object of our interest. I believe the keys are to pray about our intentions. Are our motives pure, or are we doing what we are doing to snag a husband. Seek His guidance in the decisions you make regarding him. We can never go wrong when the focus is on Jesus rather than the potential mate.
The other thing we need to look at is why we are striving for this man we pray God has for us so strongly. What is it we are looking for from him? Acceptance, because we don’t accept ourselves? Love, because we don’t love ourselves? Security, because we are full of fear? Worth, because we don’t feel worthy? Well great news! Until we heal, and accept and love ourselves with a sense of security and self worth we deserve, we have someone who already does all that for us! Our Father loves us so much girls! He accepts us, he knows we are worthy, and HE should be the one we seek out for security. No man, not even a husband, can fill the need you have for secure love.
As I type this I feel so strongly about the words I am giving you. I know a big part of the reason is because I need to hear this myself. I need to remember it, I need to believe it, and I need to live it. You are not alone ladies! I struggle with never being good enough, but you know what, if my Abba Father says I am, who am I to go against Him? Am I accepted? My Father says I am. Am I secure? My Father says I am. Am I worthy? My Father says I am. Am I loved? My Father says I am. And so are you.
LETS PRAY
Father, reach out to every woman reading these words. Thank you for loving us unconditionally. Thank you for never making us work for it. We know that You are our security. You give us what any ordinary man can not. A love that is pure and never ending. Bless all of us with your peace today and take the burden of matchmaking off our shoulders. We trust in you, and thank you for forgiving us when we sometimes forget that. In Your Holy Name I pray. Amen.
YOUR ASSIGNMENT
Please share your thoughts on the balance between letting God do His thing while bringing a man to you, and putting yourself out there so that man can have the opportunity to get to know you. Is it cut and dry, do one or the other, or do you have a strategy that satisfies both sides of the situation?
In Him,
Michelle
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About Michelle Graziano
thankful, michelle, for your words of encouragement regarding our worth! i have only recently (thank YOU, Lord!) come to the realization that any worth my 'self' has is due to my worth in Christ! the 'coleen' that God wonderfully made has abilities and enablements and gifts that He has placed within me for His purposes. as you wrote, michelle: "He knows we are worthy" and "Am I accepted? secure? worthy? loved? My Father says I am!" <3
Thanks so much Coleen! We have to remember this, I feel that it is so important to find our identity and worth in Christ independent of everything else.