“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelery and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”1 Peter 3:3-5 NIV
It is so amazing to note that the Bible touches on every subject that pertains to a woman’s needs; beauty being one of them. Yet how many of us refer to this awesome book when it comes to issues affecting our beauty? If we did then glossy magazines like Vogue, Cosmopolitan and many others would have closed their doors due to lack of business.
Reading the above verse over and over again, I am beginning to understand that it’s not the “how to” articles in the magazines that will help me become beautiful. The word of God is the best “how to” book ever. The magazines will not only confuse me but also make me feel like I am not good enough because I am not as slim as the cover girl or my bank balance does not add up in order for me to buy the trendy clothes that are being advertised. As holiday season draws near, magazines will carry articles such as “how to eat all you can and not gain weight”, “how to look great in last year’s party dress”, “how to impress that guy in time for the thanksgiving trip to visit your family.” Almost every article you read in these magazines is about looking good, feeling great and getting the man of your dreams.
Every day we women are bombarded with these messages from morning till evening. Even when you want to buy a car, the advert is not centered on the car but the kind of woman driving it. She has the most beautiful smile, flawless skin and a body that most of us only dream about.
The single woman is not exempt, especially when it comes to meeting the right guy, friends analyze you and tell you the reasons you remain dateless, some will advise you to lose weight, others will advise you to do a complete makeover of your wardrobe – “you dress like an old lady, how do you expect to meet a guy wearing such flabby clothes?”, others will criticize you for not being found at the right places – “you don’t go out often, do you expect prince charming to dream that you live in this corner of the world?” Your friends may mean well but their suggestions are contrary to what the word of God says. Yes, you need to look good and feel good about yourself but looks alone will not go the extra mile. As Jackie Kendall puts it “If a man chose me for external beauty, his destiny would be hugging a prune. But, if a man chooses me for my internal beauty, his destiny will be unfading beauty even in the twilight years of marriage, because of Jesus.”
What does this internal beauty look like? What was it that Boaz saw in Ruth that made him to go to the elders at the town gate to ask to be the Kinsman Redeemer? What was so special about this foreign lady who I am sure didn’t even bother with make up when she went to the field to pick up left over grain to make this wealth owner inquire about her? I always picture Ruth putting on a veil above her head each morning before she left the house. One would only see her eyes as she went about her business of finding food for her and her mother-in-law to eat.
Let us follow a conversation that took place when Ruth and Boaz met albeit for the first time. “Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me – a foreigner?” Boaz replied, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband – how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” Ruth 2:10-12.
Ruth won Boaz’s heart by her act of kindness, not how she looked, I am sure she was a beautiful woman but at the time she met Boaz, in the field, it had nothing to do with how she looked.
Girlfriends, the little or mundane things that you do for others are a testimony to your inner or internal beauty, the times you help an elderly lady with groceries; when you hold the door for others to pass, when you give your seat to someone else in crowded room or help out others in need do not go unnoticed. You don’t know who is watching and falling in love with your character.
“When you look at the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10-31, you will see God’s picture of a beautiful woman. There are 20 verses describing her. Only one verse mentions her outward appearance. If you were to spend 1/20 of your time on outward physical beauty and the other 19/20 on developing the other qualities God describes as beautiful, such as wisdom, kindness, and godliness, you would become the excellent woman Proverbs 31:10 says a man should try to find.”
Remember “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
~~~~~~~~~~
LET’S PRAY
Father, I pray that as your daughters, we will not fall prey to the trap that the enemy and the world have set for us about how we look. We are beautiful in your sight; we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Help us to set our minds on things above and develop the qualities that you describe as beautiful. We are vessels of honor ready to be used by you my Father. May we live our lives as examples for others to follow. In Jesus Name Amen.
Your Assignment:
In the comments section below, please tell us:
What books have you read dealing with the virtues/disciplines of a godly woman?
In contrast, how many magazines have you read that deal with external glamour?
What good books can you begin to read that will help develop your own personal godliness?
Be Blessed,
Jackie
~~~~~~~~~~
For the “Lady In Waiting” Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. You can order the book right through our website by clicking the “sign-up here” button at the top of our webpage; which is also where you can sign up to participate in this awesome bible study!
Please email Christi@girlfriendscoffeehour.com if you have any questions, or if you have a private comment that you would like to forward to one of our bloggers in regards to their post that day.
About Jackie Chingawale
thanks, jackie; good reminders! praying for each of us that the holy spirit will help us to remember OFTEN that "…it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." praying for each of us that today we will choose to be vessels of honor ready to be used by our Father. <3
Amen Coleen.
Proverbs 31 is always a good read and mentions nothing of outward beauty. The Resolution for Woman and You Matter More Than You Think are both really good books. Neither focuses on your relationship status, just that you are a woman and are after God. 🙂
As far as the magazines go, they started in junior high or high school, probably the worst time for worldly influence. :-/ At this point in my life I try, and that's a huge try, to look in the mirror with my husband's eyes instead of mine. I am healthy and in ok shape but rarely satisfied. But that is no longer never satisfied so progress is being made. 🙂
Tracy, most of us look at ourselves in the mirror and see something different but when we look into God's word and learn the truths there, our lives change.
I seriously used to think that guys would only be attracted to my physical appearance. I used to wear lower cut shirts and and short skirts. Then I learned that making guys lust after me by the clothes I am wearing is a HUGE sin. Now, I still wear cute clothes but they are way more conservative—make my dad happy kind of clothing!! This chapter validated the fact that there will be a man who will love me for what is inside my heart and not what I am wearing on my body! Thanks for sharing Jackie:)
Amen Diane. I remember those days when I used to love mini skirts or anything short together with high heels lol. I am so glad I am past that and I enjoy wearing more conservative clothes because I realize that my body is the temple of the Lord. I need to dress appropriately to represent whose I am.
Jackie I was really blessed by your blog today 🙂 God does paint a beautiful picture of what a woman should look like. I love it!!!!
Thank you Tonya, He truly does.
This is absolutely true, Jackie. How often we miss it. The world is indeed preaching a different message regarding beauty. May God help us to remember not just to look in the mirror but mostly in His word for the approval we all need… God bless!
Amen, well said Angela. Its only His word that can teach us the truth about who we are.
Thanks Jackie for this blog today. What stuck out for me was the little things that you do for people which are probably done without much thought. You just want to be kind and helpful that comes from the heart. Character starts from the heart. The heart is where God looks and that's where our Boaz should look as well.
As far as books Resolution for women by Priscilla Shirer, and a women after God's own heart by Elizabeth George. I don't read magazines on beauty, shape, or relationships.
True Merol, kindness that comes from the heart is priceless and the Lord rewards us for that. I love the verse that says "do not grow weary in doing good for you will reap a reward if you faint not". Christian books are a must have in order to grow in our faith. Its a great investment as well. They never go out of fashion like the rest of the magazines we read.
This message is so valuable for women, young and old!! Thank you Jackie!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!
Thank you Christi, I had a great time writing about this, I wondered where it was all coming from. I praise the Lord for showing me what to write about.
Thank you for a great message Jackie! It is so hard to focus on this sometimes, but it IS where our true beauty is! I haven't bought a "beauty" magazine in years, it's just counterproductive.
Thank you Michelle, the beauty magazines are counterproductive indeed. Their focus is outward while the Bible teaches us to focus on the inside.
Jacky, another great blog! For years I have been on the wrong path following the latest fashion trends, but you have opened my eyes to true beauty!
Thank you Edwina, praise the Lord that your eyes are open to true beauty, we all bought into this at one point in time but as we grow in our walk with the Lord, our mind and heart begins to respond to the truth.
Thank you Jackie! Love this post even though I'm a day late 🙂 Definitely will carry the "19/20" lesson with me!
You are welcome Carissa.