I must admit that when I started thinking about writing about this chapter for this blog, I was at loss! How do I mix Faith and Boys in the same blog? These are two different topics altogether and I was praying that I would be able to do justice to each without leaning more on one topic and neglecting the other.
But as I re-read the chapter over and over, I realize that one cannot talk about boys without talking about faith and neither can one find a lifelong partner without faith.
Somehow I equated faith with other spiritual things and not boys or men as the case may be. I must repent I used to be logical about this subject. Please don’t write me off yet but give ear to what I am going to say.
“Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
Hebrews chapter 11 is the Faith chapter and the “Hall of Fame” for the great men and women of Faith. When reading this chapter you are introduced to the greatest exploits that people like Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses and everyone else did. They overcame the most difficult situations; they were tested and passed through storms that we can only read about.
I thought faith came into play when I am faced with health issues, loss, job hunting and other major issues that I could not handle on my own. But what about when I meet a guy I like. Isn’t it so obvious that if I am single and he is single we can get together and see how it works out? Right? WRONG.
As a Lady of Faith, I must take to God each and every decision that affects me. I need to involve God in everything including issues of dating, marriage, etc. Just because this nice young man is found in church and is involved in ministry doesn’t mean he is the right one for me. I need to speak to my Heavenly Father about him before I can get involved.
You must be saying, “But Jackie, I have been here for so long, I have moved from my small town where “there are more livestock than people”; I have even changed churches so much that I have lost count the number of times I have filled out the membership forms; this is my opportunity, this is “where the boys are” so to speak. This is my time; at last someone who is interested in me, who gives me the attention I deserve. I can laugh at his jokes, he says the right words to me and never for once has he commented about my weight. He is someone that I can introduce to my friends and family without feeling embarrassed because he is well spoken and articulate”.
Well girlfriends, I met such a guy once and I can relate to someone who once wrote “dear diary, I think I found the man I am going to marry” because I practically said that myself.
I returned to church after a five year hiatus and this church is where the Christian boys in town went to. These boys were involved in ministry; be it choir, ushering, Sunday school, youth, evangelism; you name it they were there on the fore front. Like every young woman on fire for Christ, I got involved in ministry and no sooner had I done that than I met him. He was everything I thought a Christian guy should be. He was involved in various ministries and then some. He was a young man the Pastor relied upon. Well, we dated for close to a year and the relationship grew serious to the point of getting parents involved and engagement talks were underway. But something happened that caused the relationship to disintegrate. Mr. Right bowed out when I needed him the most. Mr. Right did not sign up for what I was going through and he had prayed about the way forward and it was to end the relationship.
Through this heart breaking situation the Lord opened my “eyes of faith” and I was able to see that I had been in this relationship for the wrong reasons. The Lord showed me that I wanted to be part of the church so much that I thought the best way to be accepted was by marrying this guy. The Lord knew my heart better than I knew myself. He did this to get my attention and to show me that I was accepted by Him and that He loved me the way I was. I needed to serve Him with the right motive. I needed to know who I was in Him before I could get married. I needed to fall in love with Him before I could fall in love with someone else.
For three years, I embarked on a journey of getting to know the Lord and falling in love with Him as well as doing the things He wanted me to do. It wasn’t easy because when a guy came along I wanted to throw caution to the wind and let logic take charge, but the Lord always reminded me what I went through and I needed to continue to trust Him with this. He knew the desires of my heart and in time He would fulfill them. Well He did because when I stopped searching and trying to help the Lord, He brought a man whom I married.
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LET’S PRAY
Lord, I commit my sisters into your loving arms today, be with them as they trust you with this area of Faith and boys. I know how difficult it is to surrender this issue to you but that is the only way we can avoid heartbreak. Lord we surrender our will to you today. Open our eyes of faith to see what you have in store for us as we wait upon you. You know the desires of our hearts and in time you shall fulfill them. In Jesus Name. Amen.
YOUR ASSIGNMENT
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When you meet a guy you like, what comes out first logic or faith?
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Read through Hebrews 11 and underline all the verbs. Then go back through and confess, “By faith I can __________,” filling in the blank with the verbs from each verse.
Is there anything you can think of that you can’t do by faith?
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Be Blessed,
Jackie
About Jackie Chingawale
Great blog, Jackie!! I can find 5 things I can do through faith just in verse 1! Isn't God cool?!
Thank you Tracy. Indeed God is great.
Excellent post Jackie and thank you for bringing real life into our study. I, also, went into a relationship by logic or " this man is Christian and that is what I need right now." God had other plans – I was blessed with an amazing son, so God does make good from our mistakea, but it was not by faith that I went into the relationship. Now, 21 years later- more wrong relationships and the Lord has given me grace to follow Him and learn what true love is about. Being a single mom, I could logically find a 'dad' for my boys, but they have one true Father and I have an amazing God to show me love (unconditionally). I do pray there is a Godly man out there, but I have to leave my trust in His hands. Temptations come, but my God gives me the strength to wait on Him. This study truly is amazing and opens my eyes that relaxing and basking in His plan is so much more relaxing than teying so hard to meet mine.
So true Laurie you can do the most logical thing but you have chosen to wait upon the Lord. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Good morning Jackie! Great post! I love how you reminded us that as a woman of faith we need to take each and every decision to God, despite how small or obvious we think it may be. I will be honest and admit that I haven't read Hebrews 11 past the first verse, but tonight I commit to make that my "quiet time" reading To answer you question about things we can't do without faith, there is nothing. But, for me that is sometimes easier said than done. But remembering that I need to take every decision to God does help me to step out in faith, knowing that the situation, whatever it may be is in his hands. Thank you! 🙂
You are welcome Tonya. Chapter 11 is a great place to start when learning about faith. Hope you will share with us what the Holy Spirit impresses upon your heart as you do your quite time.
Another great blog my friend! Well done!
Thank you my dearest Edwina.
Great post Jackie! I really enjoyed it. Anytime I meet a guy who I am attracted to and find out he is a single Christian, my immediate response is to find out as much about him as possible and then decide we would be perfect together. I tend to raise that man to such a high pedestal before he even has proven himself to be up there! You're right, we can talk ourselves in the logic of a relationship. Mine right now is that this guy is a worship leader, handsome, loves the Lord, is respected by many people in the congregation, and is passionate about many of the same things I am. (Plus he has a great smile!) But I haven't taken much time to even ask the Lord if he is someone that I should be interested in or not. Thanks for the reminder to trust the Lord with my desires and have faith that when I delight myself in him, he gives me the desires of my heart!
You are welcome Kate. I agree with you its so difficult to distinguish between logic and faith when it comes to relationships. But God is always there to put things into perspective.
This is excellent Jackie! I love when you said I needed to fall in love with Him before I could fall in love with someone else.
How true is that! I also went through a similar situation except God really was guarding my heart and "it" ended before it could ever really start. But I have learned so much from just liking a man that the Lord did not want me to have feelings for. It is so important that we always line our heart and feelings up with God's plan for our heart!
Thanks for sharing this Jackie, and I am so glad that you have found the man God has handpicked for you:)
I agree with you Diane – it is so important that we always line our heart and feelings up with God's plan for our heart. xoxo.
What an amazing post Jackie! I usually react from logic or emotion first, but I have learned to try to turn to God before making any decisions. I guess my question is when guys came along, how did you discern why he was in your life? Prayer? Just curious because I need help with that!
"By faith I can…wait." 🙂
Michelle, my first reaction would be to say you just know lol but that's not true, its superficial. It takes prayer and really listening to the Lord. One wise woman told me that when the Lord is about to send you the man suitable for you, the devil also sends you one to distract you from meeting this person. So you really need to be at the right place – meaning you have to be with the Lord in order for you to discern that this person is not for you.
What is the answer for by faith I can? Is it by faith I can do all things thru christ who strength me?