Relationship over Being Right
When I first saw that this was my topic I thought, “I am not qualified to talk about this.” For those of you who don’t know me or my story, right now I am still living at home. I am supposed to be in my second year of college, but because of financial reasons, I have not been able to go yet. Let me tell you, being twenty and living at home is not easy. I have always been an obedient child, for the most part. I have never “tested the waters” or really acted out any form of rebellion against authority. But I do have 3 younger siblings, and as many of you know, it isn’t always easy to turn the other cheek.
Teenage years are difficult. You’re dealing with friends, boyfriends, school work, and family. Your home is supposed to be a place where you can escape from the worries that every other area of your life demands. However, that’s not always the case. You must keep in mind that your parents and your siblings also deal with other relationships and other obligations. Too often, we think that OUR problems are the worst. I am SO guilty of this! Because of the season I am in right now, I sometimes think that the things my family members are walking through are not NEARLY as hard or nearly as painful as what I’m walking through. Then I am reminded that their problems are big to them, and I should care that they’re hurting. I should show them compassion and sympathy, because that’s what I would want if I were walking through something difficult.
Let’s talk about parents… Your parents, if they are walking with Jesus, strive to make every decision to benefit you. I don’t mean that they make decisions to make you happy. They make decisions to protect you from straying from the path that leads to Heaven. “Children, honor your father and mother.” Yes, this means to obey. It also means to respect them, and to trust that they are doing these things because they love you.
Family members are human. That means that one day or another, one of them will be sad, angry, frustrated, upset, or all of these things at once. We are called, as children of God, to LOVE them. But what happens when your sister borrows your shirt without asking? Or what about when your mom won’t let you spend the night out? Or when your brother reads your journal? In that case, we’re excused from loving them, we’re excused from giving them grace. Right?
WRONG.
Matthew 5:38-39
You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth.’
But I tell you, do not resist an evil person.
If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
Regardless of what they’ve done, regardless of who is right or who is wrong, you are called to love them. Anytime my siblings and I are arguing about something my mom ALWAYS says, “You should value your relationship more than you value being right.” We should forgive when we’ve been wronged. We should extend grace when we’ve been disrespected.
Jesus calls us to love our neighbor, and your neighbor is most definitely your family member. Pray today that the Lord would give you patience. Ask Him to reveal to you the ways you need to change your heart toward your family members. He will begin to convict you, and He will begin to change your thoughts, your words, and your actions if you let Him.
Let’s pray…
Lord, thank You for my family! My prayer, Lord, is that I would reflect You in the way I interact with them. Lord, give me patience, and give me Your heart and Your eyes to see them and love them as you do. Thank You for grace, Lord. Thank You for forgiving me when I don’t react to their wrongs in the way that is pleasing to You.
~Jordan
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About Megan Smidt
hi there! you are so right, jordan…our family members ARE our neighbors! can't get much closer than that, hmmm? i loved what you wrote here: "Ask Him to reveal to you the ways you need to change your heart toward your family members. He will begin to convict you, and He will begin to change your thoughts, your words, and your actions if you let Him." our Lord is faithful to not only answer our prayers but to bring to pass all that we ask in accordance with His will. <3
He is SO faithful! SO thankful that He hears us when we pray, and He loves us too much to leave us where we are! <3
We all have a tendency to treat the people closest to us the worst, don't we? Ouch! 🙂 Awesome post, Jordan!
yes, we do!! i think the enemy wants to keep it that way, too… praying for healing in families!!!
Oh, Jordan. You are so right on. I grew up with two younger brothers, no sisters. It was hard enough being the oldest, most responsible one, but add in two annoying gnats was almost more than I could stand sometimes. Finding that balance between love, respect and proper communication is key. Thanks for the wise, insightful words.
I can attest to being the oldest. It's definitely difficult at times! I sometimes struggle to find the line between being their sister and their mom.. that's when I get myself into trouble! They don't need two 🙂
Sometimes it's frightening to think of how we treat those we love the most! Beautiful post, today, JoJo! <3 U Girl!
thank you SO much!! <3
Coming from a large family, I relate with so much of the things you said in your post today, my favorite part was what your mom always says, You should value your relationship more than you value being right! So true, you have one smart mamma! Thanks for sharing Jordan:)
isn't she so wise?? This is something I am definitely going to pass along to my children. 🙂
Oh Jordan. So true and I'm so proud to call you mine. Awesome points here.
SO thankful to call you "momma"! thank you for inspiring this post with your wise words.
Jordan your blog couldn't have come at a better time!! I am unfortunately having difficult times with my family right now 🙁 my little sister to be exact. When you said, "Ask Him to reveal to you the ways you need to change your heart toward your family members." That really stuck out to me and I sure will try it. 🙂 Thanks <3
The Lord knew that this was the perfect time for my post to be about this. Thank You, Lord! Praying for healing and restoration to come to you and your sister's relationship.
This is EXCELLENT Jordan! I'm going to have my 3 teens read this! Great blog post!
thank you for the encouragement, Robin! such a blessing.
Jordan, thank you for sharing your heart and your testimony to be strong and loving your neighbors!
thank YOU for the encouragement!! <3