December 23, 2024

A Daughter’s Worth Week 1: Friends and Boyfriends

AHH, Love.

Everybody wants it.  Everybody needs it.  How do you get it?  Where do you get it?  Is it really OK to ADMIT that you need it?

The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24,

“A man(or woman) that has friends must show him(or her)self to be friendly and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs is a book of Wisdom written by Solomon almost 3,000 years ago.  I don’t think very much has changed in that time.  If we want friends we have to act friendly.  God gave Solomon wisdom because Solomon asked for it, then he shared his wisdom with us all these years later.

How do we show ourselves friendly?  We put a smile on our face, introduce ourselves, do something nice for someone, consider someone else’s feelings above our own…the possibilities are endless.  We have to be open to friendship.

As long as we are afraid to be friendly, we will not be making any friends.  No one wants to be lonely.  Movies are more fun with a friend, restaurants are more fun with a friend, games are… you get it – FRIENDS are a good thing.

Be the one who reaches out first.  You don’t know what that other person is going through.  God could be using you to fill a need in their life.  Be willing to be a friend.

What about the second half of that verse, “There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother”?  Can we have friends that are closer to our hearts than our own family?  I think so.  We don’t get to pick our family members (and sometimes we are too much alike to get along well).  Friends come along and fill in those places in your heart that time and distance cannot separate.  Through fellowship with this group of women and teens at Girlfriends Coffee Hour I hope you see how easy it is to love friends in different states and countries.  I hope you find a “soul sister” that you can open your heart to.

I pray that all the friendships we are building here bring out the best in us.  We should challenge each other to be better people.  Having good friends boosts our self-esteem.  We have a more well-rounded life.

Someday…..

What happens when friendships turn into something more?  As teens, you begin thinking about that special someone.  As Christ followers we should be thinking about that someone who God has prepared just for us.  Sometimes it’s hard to be patient for Mr. Right when we want a boyfriend RIGHT NOW.

I’ve heard some Christian teens say they won’t have a boyfriend or date until they find the person they are to marry.  Yet others enjoy having friends to hang out with and get to know in each life stage.   Which theory is right?  Can they both be right?  There are so many ways to think about dating and friendship.  Both schools of thought are ok.  The Bible even addresses the issue.  Because people are different, they have different needs – some need many friends while others need 1 or 2 really close friends.

Some girls need to have a boyfriend to feel happy, while others don’t want to be bothered with stinky old boys.  Either way your relationships should bring out the best in you – your attitudes, your behaviors, your SMILE and should bring glory to God.  Christ-centered friendships are AWESOME!  God made us this way and He wants what is best for us.

BONUS:

I interviewed a very nice young man for this blog, so I could pass some good information on to you young ladies.

Question: What do you find attractive in a girl?

Answer: I find attractive a girl who has a good head on her shoulders.  A girl who wants to try to be successful in her life.  A girl who has good values.  Who follows God, and tries her best to be close to family and really close friends.  A girl who values having a good time and having good memories, but not through drinking or drugs or bad behaviors.  A girl who is smart and funny and means well in her intents, but also will stand up for herself and what she believes in and the people she cares about.

Question: How do you know if a girl is real or fake?

Answer: There’s no real way to tell, you just have to trust them with how they act and see how it goes.  And I guess you could kinda tell if they put forth a lot of effort into the things they do and the passions they have and the people they care about to show they really do care and are genuine and aren’t fake.  And also I believe if she has a lot of faith in her relationship with God then that’s another way, too.

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I can’t wait to see you young ladies grow spiritually and closer to each member of your study groups.  Branch out and fellowship with the people in the :decaf Fellowship group.  God has brought together some very special Daughters of the King.  Open your hearts as we dive into the study,  A Daughter’s Worth, and see just how special we all are to our Heavenly Father.

PRAY WITH ME:

Heavenly Father, We thank you for this opportunity to make new friends.  You know our hearts and that we love you.  If we could speak all the languages in the world, but didn’t love others, we would be just a bunch of noise.  If we could understand all of God’s secrets and had all the knowledge in the world, but we didn’t love others, we would be NOTHING.  If we gave everything to the poor and sacrificed our bodies and felt really good about ourselves, but if we didn’t love others, we would have gained NOTHING.

We read in your word that Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  We thank you for your example of LOVE to us.  We love you Father and we pray that our hearts will be open to experiencing our WORTH in your eyes.  AMEN

Love,

Teresa Bolme (Mama T)

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For this Bible Study, you will need the book, your Bible, pen or pencil, a highlighter and a quiet place. We will begin the devotional part of this study next week, so really, you have until NEXT MONDAY to get your book! You can even order it right through our website from clicking the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage.

If you are interested in joining us in our GCH:decaf Teen Girls Ministry, please click the sign-up form button at the top of our webpage. Just follow the instructions on the form and hit submit. We’ll be happy to add you to one of our Online Bible Study Groups! Our new study is A Daughter’s Worth! Please email teens@girlfriendscoffeehour.com for more information.

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About Teresa Bolme

Teresa Bolme – Author, Blog Contributor
Teresa lives in middle Tennessee with David (her husband of 27 years), eight daughters (23 years – 15 years old). She has been a not-so-stay-at-home mom for the last 18+ years. She is her family’s biggest cheerleader, devoted counselor and caretaker. God has chosen to use Teresa to reach broken children, teens and women (most who were broken as children). She has been a ministry planter, a home missionary and a support to ministry families and staff. She is currently completing her degree in Psychology with an emphasis in Christian Counseling with Liberty University Online. Teresa wrote her first book titled "I AM - Discovering the Character of God through the revelation of Scripture" as a Bible study used here on Girlfriends Coffee Hour.

Comments

  1. thanks, teresa! always needful to be reminded that LOVE is the most important thing…God said so! <3

  2. jackiechingawale says

    Thanks Mama T. This is not just for teens but everyone. You are a blessing.

  3. Megan Smidt says

    Reblogged this on Glory to Glory and commented:
    Awesome thoughts from Teresa Bolme today about friends and boyfriends!

  4. Kim spring says

    Thanks T. As teens and adults , The Lord made us to need each other. When He created Adam he said its not good for man to be alone. It's so important to be a soft place to land. Choose relationship over being right. Love you

    • I agree Kim. God created us for relationship with Him and others. I don't why we think we can do this all alone. Love you girl.

  5. This really got my attention: We need to be open to friendship! How true it is:) No matter how hurt our previous friendships or relationships have left us, we must still be open to new ones, the ones God has for us! Thanks for touching my heart with this post today!!!!!

    • Thank you Diane for your kind words. You are so right on about how we protect ourselves from new hurt because of past hurtful friendships. I am so guilty of holding people at arms length. It's hard to love someone from a distance and bring glory to God. We have to get all in.

  6. T, I am so blessed to call you friend!! I feel the same way about all of our GCH families as well 🙂 God has truly blessed me with true friends and you ladies and girls are more of a family to me than my own biological family members! I love you all!! Great post Teresa!!! Love you!! Muah!!! <3

    • Love you too, Other T. teehee humor. If our bio family chooses not to be around when we need them, God places other people in our lives to fill that void. Jesus said, "Who is my mother, my brother, my sister?" and "Which of these people was this man's neighbor?" It doesn't have anything to do with blood relation, it has to do with the heart relationship. We have a pretty wonderful family. <3

  7. BEAUTIFUL Post, Mama T!!! 🙂 So much wisdom here! I loved the interview!! 🙂

  8. Jordan Spring says

    LOVE this post!!! So much wisdom, and so cool to hear from a guy's perspective.

    • I'm glad you liked the idea to add the guy's thoughts on this. Women can tell girls the same message until we're blue, but let a man tell them the same thing and we think they hung the moon and the stars. God has given me access to some very nice, responsible, godly young men to interview since I have so many daughters. LOL

  9. Ashley Graby says

    Was soooo busy yesterday so i just got around to reading this just now. Its scary how this relates to my life right now. Wonderful post!! <3 i needed the help and encouragment. Love you other mother 🙂 🙂