Memory verse:
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
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Remember the feminist movement in the 60’s and early 70’s? The one where women wanted and demanded equality with men? They burned their bras in protest, stating the bras represented being constricted and confined. Some of those women really, really, should have kept theirs on, know what I mean? Anyway the girdles, bras, and pantyhose came off. This is how the women were going to “show those men that they were no longer going to be confined!”. Now I’m not really understanding how this was going to “show the men” because the men LIKED the women going bra-less, you know how men can be…..
Anyway, to my point, ever since this movement, women have been demanding equality with men; the ability to participate in previously male-dominated sports (football, basketball, hockey), equal pay in their careers (I agree with this one as a woman who is doing the same job as a man SHOULD receive the same pay),the ability to become licensed and ordained ministers and priests, congressmen, president, the right to work outside the home, etc. Women fought for the right to do anything a man could do. Remember the commercial where the woman “could bring home the bacon, and fry it up in a pan, and never, ever, them him forget he was a man?”
We’ve come a long way baby, but still have a ways to go. Yet in my opinion, it’s gotten out of hand. This chapter Role Reversal is a good one, as is the whole book. I was watching a TV show last week where the wife was a realtor working very long hours and bringing in a lot of money. The husband called himself a “stay-at-home dad”, took care of the kids, cleaned the house, ironed, did the grocery shopping, cooked dinner, massaged his wife, and ran her bath daily, and she made all the major decisions. Before you ask “where can I order one of these?” think about this…..what is wrong with this picture according to the Word of God? Don’t get me wrong, if you must work outside of the home, you must. No judging, this is MY choice.
Ephesians 5:22-23 says that we are to submit to our husbands, not vice versa. Now don’t get me wrong here, my Gorgeous Husband does all the above (with the exception of the bath), but this is not his primary role, it’s mine as the homemaker. HOMEmaker, not house wife. To me a house wife just cleans the house, a homemaker makes a home. Yes we clean, cook, etc. but we’re the nucleus of the family. Ever heard of the expression “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t NObody happy!” It’s our job to pray over, teach, lead, guide, minister to, and love on our family. The godly woman’s touch if you would.
Now while doing all of this we are under our husband’s prayerfully, godly authority, we’re to submit to our husbands. To not do so is rebelling, and rebelling is as witchcraft. (1 Samuel 15:23)
Is this always easy? Nope! Sometimes we’re right, and they’re wrong. We agree to disagree so that we’re in agreement, and seek our Father’s face for direction (remember the triangle I talked about in the conference call?) For those of you who weren’t on it: take both your thumbs and put them together tip to tip, next take your index fingers and put them together to form a triangle, you and your hubby are the left or right side, from the knuckle. God is the top as He should be, when you or your hubby are discussing, (look from left to right at your thumbs), and you don’t agree, one (or both) take it to the Lord, (go up from corner of triangle to the top of your finger), pray and talk to Him asking who is right and to minister to you both, then God ministers to your husband (look down from the top of triangle down to your left (husband), he “gets it”, then talks to you ( look left to right)and all is well!
God designed our husbands to be our spiritual head, our covering, our protectors. When we wrongfully try to assume that role we are out of God’s will, off balance, and out of order. Read Ephesians again: “Wives be subject to your own husbands, as TO THE LORD” (emphasis mine). “As to the Lord”, so not only are we being submissive to our husbands, but we must do it as unto the Lord! We don’t want to disrespect our Adonai do we?! We want to be obedient to God, being submissive to Him.
Those of you whose husbands are not saved, or are not walking with the Lord as they should be, THIS is what you think of when you’re being submissive to your husbands, that you are doing it as unto the Lord, to and for HIM, God. God will bless and honor your obedience. Your husbands heart will be changed, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives….”1 Peter 3:1
Also read Titus 2:5, 1 Corinthians 11:3, and Proverbs 31:10-31. Being submissive to your husband doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. You have a mind and a mouth. We’re to be our husbands partners and helpmates. God blesses us with wisdom and discernment as we minister to our men. They in turn have responsibilities towards us: 1 Peter 3:7 and Ephesians 5:28-29.
As Priscilla said, if you are being abused do not accept it! This is not of God and please seek help whether it be your pastor, a counselor, or local police. Get help!
Let’s get back to our rightful roles according to the Word of God. It does not make us meek and mild, on the contrary, our role is critical to our family and to our household. God has entrusted us with an awesome and beautiful responsibility, let’s walk in our roles! <3
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Let’s Pray:
Adonai, I lift my Gorgeous Girlfriends to you in love. I ask You to minister, lead and guide them in Your Way and Your Truth. Open the eyes of their hearts so they may know and understand You and the roles and responsibilities You have placed on them, yet You wouldn’t have them do this without Your help. Minister to their husbands so they understand and actually do what You’ve called THEM to do, all to Your glory. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen.
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Our 2nd Resolution
Purposefully Feminine
I will champion God’s model for womanhood in the face of a post feminist culture.
I will teach it to my daughters and encourage its support to my sons.
I’ll sign this. Will you?
Leave your comments below about today’s blog and be sure to go to the Online Bible Study Facebook Group to see what Megan has in store for us!! If you are not part of our Online Bible Study Group on Facebook, and would like to be, please send an email to us at GirlfriendsCoffeeHour@gmail.com, and we will respond as soon as possible!
About Robin
Great blog today! Since I've realized the importance of submission as a wife a few years ago, it has made me shake my head at a couple of things. My former associate pastor would read an exert from any old book from the 40s or 50s about how to be a good wife. It's basically all about serving her husband. Have dinner ready and the house clean and quiet when he gets home so he walks into a peaceful home. Freshen yourself up just before he gets home. Meet him at the door with a smile. Don't complain to him about your day as soon as he walks in. Give him the chance to relax after a long day. He would use it as a joke. "yeah right. How many of you ladies think this is going to happen?" Since hearing that and having a mindset change, I strive to be able to do that for my husband. Not because he's more important than me in the grand scheme of things but because he's my husband and I am to submit to him as the church is to the Lord. If Jesus were walking through my door at night you'd better believe I'd making it as nice as possible! I want to do that for the head of my home as well. When I caught that CONCEPT my whole relationship with my honey changed! No, it's not always peaceful in our house. I don't generally meet him at the door because he gets home in the middle of the night. I used to be the one working and he was home do many things I just didn't have time to do. But the CONCEPT of choosing to honor and submit to my husband is one on the best I've ever made!
Oh I agree Tracy! I've learned that my husband appreciates having the house clean when he walks in from a hectic day, he enjoys walking in to smell dinner cooking, and he needs 30 minutes to an hour of "down time" to just relax and unwind, and then he wants us to fill him in on our day. It doesn't make me "the little woman", I'm a woman who loves her man and wants to minister to him in this way. Loved your comment!!
I am so blessed by this Tracy! It is amazing what God has done in your lives, and will continue to do!!! I love you both to pieces!!!
I was not aware this was set up for married women, but am blessed to be a part. Being single, but praying for that Godly man He has in store for me, I loved when you said being submissive Unto the Lord. I was a very controlling person for years until I started loving God with all my heart,soul and mind. Through studies like these I find godly women who are great mentors through their marriages. I am His new creation so when I talk to others who knew me as very controlling, they wonder what has happened. I tell them I have made God the love of my life. I love this study, this is the 2nd time I have gone through it and pick up so much from your posts.
Praise God!! I'm glad Laurie and thank you for responding, you have an awesome testimony lady, to be able to tell others that "God is the love of your life" is a witness to EVERYONE, let alone singles! I'm glad you're a part of this, it can benefit both single and married women as you've just attested.
GREAT blog! I have found that the more I "submit" to my husband AS UNTO THE LORD, my life is easier and more enjoyable. It brings me JOY knowing that when my hubby comes home from work, the house is picked up and dinner is at least on my mind. We both work very hard but admittedly, he works harder (Wisconsin, above 100 temps, working outside). I love being able to take my role as the home maker. GOD has restored our marriage to get me to THIS point. He is GOOD.
GREAT testimony!! Thank you for sharing!
I used to hate the terms "housewife" and "homemaker" because it seems so subservient to me. But I read a book a few years ago that took a different approach … the home manager. Rather than look to how I fail as a Prov 31 woman (who could ever meet her standards LOL), I consider how I manage my home. I manage the menu, the shopping, the cleaning, the errands, etc by doing, delegating or assigning. It's not my "job" to do all by myself, but to manage the home so it runs smoothly and provides a haven for my husband & children. Just a simple change of words, and it changed my attitude 🙂
Hmmmm, homemaker is not subservient at all hon. I guess it's how each individual chooses to look at it or interpret it. I personally enjoy being a homemaker, with the help of the Holy Spirit I make sure everything is in order. Am I submissive to my husband? Yes, am I subservient? Oh heck no! We're a team, partners, but HE is my spiritual head, my covering. He's a powerful man of God who values me, the insight God blesses me with, and my opinions.
My husband is a huge help as he actually does most of the housework and grocery shopping while working, due to this illness, but I'm still the home maker. When God tells us to be submissive to our husbands, in no way does He mean or imply to be subservient. I call my daughter my P31 daughter, she works full time, went to school full time and received her bachelor's, and still took care of her family and home. Nothing is impossible with God! Could I have done that? Nope! God gives each of us individual strengths and I have some friends who are P31 women but I'm not one(yet). Don't look at how you fail at something, look at your strengths, and you, Amy B, have many!
I loved this blog today!! And also the chapter we read. I learned a long time ago that my Hubby is happy when I submit as onto God. I am now in the home and unemployed, but I feel like God has put me here in this season of my life to learn how to enjoy my marriage more. We have a good marriage, don't get me wrong, but life gets in the way of it sometimes. Managing my home and taking care of my husband,(we are empty nesters) is a priority now and I want to learn all I can and enjoy my life and marriage to the fullest, according to God!!
Yay Donna Day!! Yep, life definitely can get in the way but God will bless your desire to learn and enjoy, He gives us the desires of our hearts! thank you for responding!
Oh my goodness Robin! I am happy dancing! For a couple of weeks now I have been seeking God's purpose for me in my current circumstances. He impressed upon me that he has big plans for my husband & I am a key factor. 4 yrs ago a major breach occurred in our marriage. Since then my husband has not been walking with the Lord as he should. God used that event to show me how I needed to change as a wife & better protect our marriage. So I have been working on being submissive. But I didn't see how this was a part of God's purpose for me. UNTIL I read the paragraph about being submissive as unto the Lord &
1 Peter 3:1! That is how God is going to use me! That is His purpose for me! I am so excited I am shaking! Thank you so much for making it clear. It hasn't been easy being submissive ( i am a very independent girl ;))I know there will still be times I struggle but now I get it 🙂
Praise God!! Thank you so much for sharing this! We all struggle at times but God will strengthen us and the Holy Spirit will help, lead, and guide us.
If anybody read my comment yesterday you would think I jumped ahead and read role reversal, but I didn't. I guess years of marriage ministry can't help but find itself at the forefront of how I think. 🙂 I am enjoying this Book so much, too much to jump ahead, I am enjoying each morsel taking it in, chewing it, digesting it. I find myself looking forward to each day to see what's next. I am so grateful for it, it came at a perfect time. A time when i had no other study going on. This book and study is amazing! Even though I had never done an online study I am really liking this.
We're glad you're here Jolie and that you're enjoying this study. It's a great book!!
Great blog today Robin, thanks for sharing your insight with us. I loved the statement in today's lesson that tells us submission is where everyone finds ultimate freedom and that by walking in that role we place ourself under the covering of our Lord. I used to think long ago why should I submit to a man who is not under Gods leadership himself…until God showed me "Beverly he is still your leader" submit to him And let me take care of changing him….and I surrendered that to God and said yes OK Lord….and I know God blesses my obedience….If something does not line up with God's directive then I tell him Whoa we need to talk more about this….in the past year I have even seen more change in my husband as I surrender more things in our marriage….God is working even though my husband doesn't recognize it's God! I love my job God has given me (to pray over, to teach, to lead, to guide, to minister and love on my family) and I will continue to do all I can so God can continue to grow me!
great post Robin, I really enjoyed reading it. It says alot, it brings out alot, well alot for me!! I saved this to reread this. it was really good!!
I am reminded of the story my Pastor told us of the woman that was married to an unsaved man. She went to church every sunday she prayed and was faithful to God and submissive to her husband. her husband told her that if she went to church when she returned the locks would be changed but she prayed and went to church anyway. When she returned from church she found that the locks had been changed so she slept between the screen door and the front door and in the morning when he opened the front door she fell in the house. She rose washed her face and hands and proceeded to cook him breakfast. After he witnessed her actions in the situation he told her, "I dont know what ya'll are doing at that church, but whatever it is I want some it." And he gave his life over to the Lord because of her submissiveness.
Laurie, we are so blessed to have you with us, as well! I pray God will continue to bless you through this study, and that you will always share the "Love of your life" with others!! 🙂
It's because you are walking in the role that God designed for you, Girlfriend! I love reading testimonies like this!!! Thank you for sharing!
I love the term "Home Manager"!! 🙂 Nice touch!
Hello Empty-Nester from another Empty-Nester! Isn't it fun being able to totally concentrate on loving your husband, without the interruptions? Don't take that the wrong way. I LOVE my kids/grandkids. But there is just something going on in my marriage that is amazing, now that the kids are gone. I am able to give my husband my ALL, and he is loving every minute of it!!! 🙂
Praising God with you Girlfriend! Wow!! I can't wait to see where God takes the two of you!!!
That is so good to hear Jolie! I believe we are going to see even bigger and better changes in our lives, the further we get into this study!! It is a very powerful tool that God put into our hands!!! I'm so glad you are enjoying the Online part of it, as well!!
AMEN Beverly!!!
Get all that you can out of this book Patricia. Let it sink deep into your spirit. There is LIFE in this book!!
WOW!!!! Awesome story, Summer!!!! I LOVE this!!!! Just goes to show what can be done when we serve our husbands as unto the Lord! Amen!!
yes, robin, i WILL sign this! there is so much freedom when we (both husbands and wives) learn the truth about how God sees our roles in marriage. i'm thankful, that's what i am! there is a pretty good book out there called "rocking the roles" by lewis/hendricks. it explores biblical roles in marriage and how it plays out in todays' world. one quote i love is that "spiritual leadership is a responsibility not a rank…".
and thank you again, miss robin, for praying over us. <3
Thank you sweet Coleen for YOUR prayers!
Wow I am so thankful that the Lord soften my heart to my role as a helpmeet to my husband. I was raised in a single parent home and even though my mom studied the word she did not teach this. I was taught to be head of household, basically the reverse of what the word teaches. One of the reasons I had problems in my first marriage—two people were trying to be head of household. My second husband is adorable and I have no problem submitting. We do not agree on everything but we respect each others roles and know what those roles are. I will sign this resolution.
Amen Merol!
Praise God! Great insight Beverly! Thank you for sharing that!
Thank you Patricia! God will reveal more and more to you, get ready to be blessed by Him!
I've heard that story too Summer, powerful!
I'm just getting a chance to comment on some of these entries… I don't know why, but this website is blocked at work and I rarely get on my laptop at home. Hard to type much on my phone 😉 Anyway…. I have been a very controlling person all my life. I want to know what's happening, how it's going to happen, who's doing what and when, etc. So needless to say, I've overstepped my boundaries many times but never even thought that I was doing it until we started this study. God let me know one instance a couple of weeks ago and it was a huge ah ha moment for me! I'm definitely paying more attention to this and reigning in my controlling tendencies 😉 Love this study and you girls too!
That describes me to a T as well. I was such a controlling person, had to know who, what when wher & why. I always new what was best, not only for myself but my husband & children as well. Moh what grief it caused! The last 4 years I have really been trying to step away from being that person. God used last week to show me even more instances where I overstepped my role in places other than my family. Last week really helped me get a handle on the bigger picture. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hugs
Loved this chapter about being submissive to our husbands. I am so thankful everyday for the Godly man that God blessed me with. I learned even more about being a submissive wife. Remember that order does matter!!!!