{"id":9517,"date":"2013-02-18T00:01:31","date_gmt":"2013-02-18T05:01:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/?p=9517"},"modified":"2013-02-17T23:55:24","modified_gmt":"2013-02-18T04:55:24","slug":"lifes-healing-choices-maintaining-momentum-pp-205-208","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/2013\/02\/18\/lifes-healing-choices-maintaining-momentum-pp-205-208\/","title":{"rendered":"Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 7 – Maintaining Momentum (pp 205-208)"},"content":{"rendered":"

R<\/strong>eserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.<\/p>\n

______________<\/p>\n

So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don\u2019t fall!<\/b>
\n1 Corinthians 10:12<\/b><\/p>\n

This week we are going to focus on maintaining momentum on this road to recovery.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t keep your guard up, and allow God to be in control, you could relapse.\u00a0 Many think the word relapse is only for the alcoholic who has taken a drink or the drug addict who went back to the street drugs.\u00a0 Relapse simply means to fall or slide back into a former state<\/strong><\/em>.\u00a0 This could be anything \u2013 anger, guilt, depression, overeating \u2013 whatever your hurt, habit, or hang-up is.\u00a0 Chapters 7 and 8 help us to live out our recoveries for the rest of our lives.\u00a0 It is time to look back at the previous weeks and see that we are no longer in denial…we have made our inventory of the hurts, habits, and hang-ups in our lives…we have done our best at making amends…and now we have the desire to grow closer to Jesus Christ who has brought us through the fire. Sit back and realize the growth you have each made in the past weeks and the healing God has done.\u00a0 Be proud of how hard you have worked and the freedom you are beginning to feel.<\/p>\n

In our book, John Baker outlines four predictable patterns of relapse:<\/p>\n

\u00d8\u00a0 Complacency<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00d8\u00a0 Confusion<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00d8\u00a0 Compromise<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00d8\u00a0 Catastrophe<\/i><\/p>\n

First, relapse begins when we become comfortable.<\/strong>\u00a0 When we have talked with others regarding our issues, begun working through them, have made amends and feel we are making some steps forward—we begin to become comfortable.\u00a0 How many of you have had a cold or flu and received medication for 10 days from the doctor?\u00a0 After six days you begin feeling back to normal.\u00a0 So what do we do? We stop taking the medication, we keep on our regular routine and three days later we relapse.\u00a0 We then wonder what happened?\u00a0\u00a0Why did the medicine not work?\u00a0 Just as with good medicine, continuing to seek the Lord daily, keeping up with our prayer and Bible reading tim,e and talking with our trusted friend will help us keep our focus on the race, so we can, like Timothy, say: \u201cI have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith<\/b>\u201d\u00a0 <\/b>2 Timothy 4:7.<\/p>\n

If we start becoming too comfortable and do not immediately get back on track, we can move into the second phase—confusion.\u00a0 We can begin rationalizing and thinking, \u201cMaybe it wasn\u2019t that bad,\u201d or \u201cMaybe I can do this myself.\u201d When I look back at the 35 years I was in the alternative lifestyle, I lost count of how many times I rationalized or tried to walk away on my own.\u00a0 Either I would rationalize that the lifestyle was not wrong and I could continue, or I would try to walk away with no help.\u00a0 I did not want to ask for any help and I did not think I needed God\u2019s help.\u00a0 After all I was an independent, hard-working person that could take care of me.\u00a0 Wrong!!!<\/strong><\/em> Every time I attempted to walk away on my own, I fell right back into the tangled mess.<\/p>\n

Then what do we do? Go right back to the place where temptations are the strongest.\u00a0 We compromise and go frequent the bars, back to the internet, down the cookie and donut aisle, back to the one person or place that was unsafe to our healing.\u00a0 It may start with little things<\/em>, oh, just one drink \u2013 just one website \u2013 just one pull on the slot machine \u2013 just one cup of coffee with that one person.\u00a0 Then before we know it, the snowball becomes an avalanche. \u00a0We are spinning into\u2026<\/p>\n

CATASTROPHE!!\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The time where we actually go right back to the old hurts, habits, and hang-ups.\u00a0 The anger, resentments, depression, guilt, and shame come back.\u00a0 We go back to the old catalyst that was controlling our lives.<\/p>\n

Each time I tried on my own to walk away from the lifestyle I would be strong at first.\u00a0 My anger toward that person drove me to be determined to succeed.\u00a0 I was in control \u2013 I could do this<\/i>!! I would go to church, because in my heart I knew what I was doing was wrong.\u00a0 Each time I was at church the message was just for me.\u00a0 Ever been there?\u00a0 I just knew all those around me and my pastor knew exactly where I was and what I was trying to walk away from.\u00a0 I would start feeling stronger, so I would work harder, take care of my boys harder, clean my home harder \u2013 all I was doing were actions to avoid really dealing with the root.<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0 I still thought \u2013 “I can do this<\/i>!!”<\/p>\n

Then when things started stabilizing and I felt stronger, I would slip away from church, continue to work hard, but not so hard on walking away \u2013 just avoidance.\u00a0 This is when the enemy loves to mess with us.\u00a0 I would think, “‘Well, maybe this isn\u2019t wrong.\u00a0 After all society is more accepting.\u00a0 My friends are still my friends, maybe I will just make one call.\u00a0 Just to see how they are doing…I mean, I am just showing how I care about someone.”<\/p>\n

CATASTROPHE!!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I walked right back into my avalanche.\u00a0 Next thing I knew, I was full-blown back into the lifestyle I had thought \u2013 “I can do this<\/i>!!”<\/p>\n

When life had come to the point that I was tired of trying on my own, I realized I needed help to make this stick.\u00a0 My desire was to walk away from the gay lifestyle into a life close to God.\u00a0 How was I going to do that?\u00a0 First, I turned to trusted individuals who would listen and be strong in keeping me in God\u2019s word.\u00a0 I had to reserve a daily time with Him.<\/p>\n

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Mark 14:38<\/b><\/p>\n

I had to spend that time alone, listening to what the Lord would say to me.\u00a0 Praying and asking His guidance and direction to stay away from being comfortable. “But if not, then listen to me;\u00a0be silent, and I will teach you wisdom” <\/b>Job 33:33. \u00a0\u00a0Daily, I would put on His armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) so I would not compromise or walk back into my areas of temptation. \u00a0Finally, as I listened, prayed, spent time in His word and with Him<\/em> I started seeing the healing He was bringing into my life.\u00a0 I would then spend time rejoicing with Him and sharing with others the joy He brought into my life. \u00a0I am thankful He allows me to continue to serve Him and tell others of His testimony in my life.\u00a0 As you continue on this journey I will leave you today with one additional scripture:<\/p>\n

\"Romans15_13\"<\/a><\/p>\n

_________________________<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s Pray:<\/b><\/p>\n

Father, we come to You today so thankful for Your love and grace in our lives.\u00a0 We admit we have tried so many times to do this changing on our own.\u00a0 Today we are laying this burden at Your feet, we need Your help, so we do not get comfortable or begin to compromise our lives.\u00a0 Remind us, Lord, to walk closely to You daily, listen to Your voice, seek Your direction, pray for healing, and rejoice as You bring us through the fire.\u00a0 Lord, we pray Your word that we may be filled with joy and peace, that we may trust in You, and we thank You for the hope we have by the power of Your Holy Spirit.\u00a0 Again, we give all glory and honor to You, Father.\u00a0 In Jesus Name, Amen!<\/p>\n

Your Assignment:<\/b><\/p>\n

Throughout this study we have talked about spending quiet time with Him.\u00a0 Have you developed that quiet time?\u00a0 Also, do you take the time to rejoice through the victories, no matter how small? \u00a0If so, please share with us how you have done that.<\/p>\n

_________________________<\/p>\n

If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. ______________ So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don\u2019t fall! 1 Corinthians 10:12 This week we are going […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":9546,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[22],"tags":[1802,1798,1701,425,1800,570,596,608,1799,873,1801],"class_list":["post-9517","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-victorious-healing","tag-1-corinthians-1012","tag-2-timothy-47","tag-ephesians-610-18","tag-girlfriends-coffee-hour","tag-job-3333","tag-john-baker","tag-laurie-ellis","tag-lifes-healing-choices","tag-mark-1438","tag-recovery","tag-romans-1513","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Romans15_13.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p39pHp-2tv","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9517"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9517\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9549,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9517\/revisions\/9549"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9546"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}