{"id":9317,"date":"2013-02-14T00:01:06","date_gmt":"2013-02-14T05:01:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/?p=9317"},"modified":"2013-02-12T22:23:56","modified_gmt":"2013-02-13T03:23:56","slug":"lifes-healing-choices-chapter-6-make-the-choice-pgs-182-186","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/2013\/02\/14\/lifes-healing-choices-chapter-6-make-the-choice-pgs-182-186\/","title":{"rendered":"Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 – Make the Choice (pgs 182-186)"},"content":{"rendered":"

MAKE THE CHOICE: Repairing Relationships<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>
\n\u201cToday is a new day. Starting today, you can refocus your life on doing God\u2019s will in your relationships\u201d (Baker, 180)<\/p>\n

I think we would all agree with John Baker\u2019s assessment that broken relationships are the root of much of the pain we experience. The action steps this week allow us to move towards forgiving those who hurt us, and making amends with those we\u2019ve hurt. Let\u2019s explore how we can live unashamed, forgetting our troubles, full of hope and blessed (Job 11:13-10)<\/p>\n

WRITE \u2013<\/strong>
\nThroughout this study, we\u2019ve taken a lot of time to write about our experiences, our actions, and our pain. I believe that writing gives us the opportunity to clearly see the thoughts that run through our minds, but by using both the thinking & writing tasks, it becomes more real to us. We take an active approach to the thoughts. We see it in black & white (or purple & white if you were to see my journal), and it\u2019s no longer something hidden in the back corners of our lives.<\/p>\n

Start out this week\u2019s exercise by writing down a list of people who have harmed you in some way, and their relationship to you. Now, I\u2019m not talking about the guy who cut you off on the road. It\u2019s not the petty little stuff we\u2019re dealing with here. Go back to your inventory lists from Chapter 4 if necessary. We are creating our Forgiveness List.<\/p>\n

Once you have the list of people, or maybe just one person, describe what they said or did to hurt you. How did it make you feel? Dig deep and find the descriptive words for your feelings, don\u2019t just say \u201cangry\u201d or \u201churt\u201d. Do you struggle with finding words to describe how you feel? You\u2019re not alone! I know in counseling sessions, we were given charts & lists to help us as a family learn to communicate our feelings more clearly with one another. I found these links that might be helpful if you struggle in expressing words for your emotions:<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.professional-counselling.com\/list-of-human-emotions.html<\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.ami-tx.com\/Portals\/3\/EmotionsFlyer.pdf<\/a> (this is great picture chart for children!)<\/p>\n

Now, let\u2019s move to the Amends List. Write down names of those you\u2019ve hurt or offended, and their relationship to you. As we did with the previous list, write down what you said or did to this person. How do you think this person felt? Why are you sorry for hurting this person? Do you stop to think about how your words or actions affect another person? So often we can point out every little offense of other people, but we dismiss what we did as nothing.<\/p>\n

Baker gives a list of questions (p. 184) to help jump start your thinking if you\u2019re struggling to think of those you have hurt:<\/p>\n