{"id":9152,"date":"2013-02-11T00:01:49","date_gmt":"2013-02-11T05:01:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/?p=9152"},"modified":"2013-02-10T16:06:41","modified_gmt":"2013-02-10T21:06:41","slug":"lifes-healing-choices-chapter-6-repairing-relationships-pgs-167-171","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/2013\/02\/11\/lifes-healing-choices-chapter-6-repairing-relationships-pgs-167-171\/","title":{"rendered":"Life’s Healing Choices: Chapter 6 – Repairing Relationships (pp 167-171)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Choice 6: <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Evaluate all my relationships.\u00a0 Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me, <\/strong><\/em>and make amends for harm I\u2019ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

___________________________<\/p>\n

\"LHC_Chapter6\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This week we are going to look back at our inventory and learn how to repair the damage we have seen in our relationships.\u00a0 Whether the damage was what we have done to others or what others have done to us, there is one way to repair—through forgiveness<\/strong><\/em>.<\/p>\n

There are three reasons the book discusses why we should forgive others.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Because God has forgiven you<\/li>\n
  2. Because resentment doesn\u2019t work<\/li>\n
  3. Because you\u2019ll need forgiveness in the future<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Because God has forgiven you\u00a0– <\/strong><\/i>Have you truly accepted God\u2019s forgiveness?\u00a0 I know for so long I felt I was not worthy of His forgiveness.\u00a0 Have you accepted that Jesus\u2019 death on the cross paid for all our sins? John 19:30 states Jesus exclaimed from the cross, \u201cIt is finished.\u201d\u00a0 <\/b>No matter what our sin or how badly we have hurt others, God\u2019s grace is sufficient to forgive completely.\u00a0 Remember the woman who entered Simon\u2019s home while he was having dinner with Jesus? She took an alabaster box of oil, washed His feet with her tears and anointed His feet with the oil.\u00a0 When Simon criticized her, Jesus told him, \u201cTherefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.\u00a0 But to who little is forgiven, the same loves little<\/b>\u201d (Luke 7:47).<\/b> Jesus then told her that her sins were forgiven and that her faith had saved her.\u00a0 This woman knew her sins were great, but also knew the greatness of God\u2019s mercy.\u00a0 She had accepted His forgiveness and been set free.<\/em><\/p>\n

    Because resentment doesn\u2019t work – <\/i><\/strong>This second reason to forgive is all about letting go.\u00a0 Let go of the pain of the past hurts from others.\u00a0 If you hold onto those hurts or resentments, they will hold you prisoner.\u00a0 When you release them, you are free…the doors open and you walk out.<\/p>\n

      \n
    • Resentment is unreasonable: Resentment can build up into anger.\u00a0 When we are angry, the only person hurting is ourselves.\u00a0\u00a0 We lose sleep, we don\u2019t eat, we overeat, we start becoming more tempted by the addictions that God had removed and we snap out at those around us whom we love.\u00a0 Let Go and Let God!!<\/strong><\/li>\n
    • Resentment is unhelpful: Can all that we are holding onto really help anything now or in the future?\u00a0 When we become stressed, it affects all our life—our work, our home, our friends, our loved ones.\u00a0 Let Go and Let God!!<\/strong><\/li>\n
    • Resentment is unhealthy: The book likened resentment to cancer.\u00a0 When I read that I went back to when I received the call I had cancer.\u00a0 I had dropped 30 pounds in 30 days and could barely walk.\u00a0 After many tests, they had diagnosed me with stage 3 cancer.\u00a0 That call knocked my feet out from under me.\u00a0 If resentment is like that I want it to be taken from me, just as God healed me of cancer<\/em>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Because you will need forgiveness in the future – <\/i><\/strong>There have been and will always be days when we are going to need God\u2019s or someone else\u2019s forgiveness.\u00a0 When the book stated ‘you cannot receive what you do not give,’ <\/b>that one statement hit home for me. If I do not forgive other\u2019s I will not receive forgiveness.\u00a0 So wait, if I do not forgive, I will not receive my Father\u2019s forgiveness.\u00a0 That is a hard one!\u00a0 But when you look at it, like all other areas of our lives, we need to take that first step.\u00a0 If there were 1,000 steps, then\u00a0yes, God will take the 999 others to get to us, but we have got to take that first step.\u00a0 To receive salvation, we had to ask. \u00a0To receive baptism, we had to believe.\u00a0 To receive healing, we have to believe.\u00a0 So to receive forgiveness, we have to forgive.<\/p>\n

      In my walk out of the alternative lifestyle, I did my inventory and made amends with many people.\u00a0 You see, as others are making their inventory of how others hurt them, mine was on the other side.\u00a0 I did much of the hurting.\u00a0 My choices destroyed my relationships with family and friends.\u00a0 My choices destroyed four marriages, including my own.\u00a0 I broke off an engagement at the age of 19, left my husband later at the age of 27, lost custody of my oldest son ( he was 3) at the age of 28\u2026see where I am going?\u00a0 Although there were those that did<\/em> hurt me, my laundry list was long.\u00a0 So the forgiveness I longed for was much greater than any I had to give.<\/p>\n

      My asking for forgiveness from others was the first, and I had to admit, the easiest.\u00a0 Sure, there were those that hurt me and I did forgive them, but the hardest parts of forgiveness for me were to accept God\u2019s forgiveness and to forgive myself.\u00a0 The guilt of my choices was really deep.\u00a0 I had a difficult time accepting that God had forgiven me.\u00a0 Through years of destroying relationships with my parents, siblings, friends, ruining marriages—anyone who tried to care was quickly tossed to the side.\u00a0 After all of the hurt I had caused, how could God forgive me?\u00a0 I was not worthy; I did not deserve His mercy.<\/p>\n

      Exactly! Mercy<\/em> is undeserved merit<\/strong><\/em>. \u00a0Mercy is not earned, He freely gives it.\u00a0 We serve an amazingly compassionate God. \u201cFor we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need<\/strong><\/em>\u201d Hebrews 4:15-16.<\/p>\n

      His life on earth, death on the cross and resurrection to the right hand of the Father is the reason we receive His mercy for our past and grace for our future.\u00a0 I had to step up to His throne and boldly<\/b> receive His forgiveness. \u00a0It took some time for me to realize He died for me too.\u00a0 When He said, \u201cIt is finished,\u201d He meant for me, too.\u00a0 If you are having a hard time accepting God\u2019s forgiveness, try this.\u00a0 Put your name in front or behind that statement Jesus made.\u00a0“________, it is finished.”<\/p>\n

      Once I received God\u2019s forgiveness, He began nurturing me to forgive myself.\u00a0 Jesus wants an intimate relationship with us.\u00a0 He wants us to bring all our burdens, hurts, guilt, and shame to Him.\u00a0 I love The Living Bible translation of this verse, it make this so personal. \u201cCome, let\u2019s talk this over! Says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow.\u00a0 Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool!\u00a0 If you will only let Me help you<\/strong><\/em>\u201d Isaiah 1:18-19.<\/strong>\u00a0 ‘Come, let\u2019s talk’\u2013-I can visualize Jesus saying–‘grab your coffee, let\u2019s talk.’\u00a0 He made the heavens and the earth (in six days), He set the stars perfectly in the sky, He walked me out of the gay lifestyle. He healed my cancer. He gave me two miracles through my sons. He put joy in my life through my brother. He gave me amazing family and friends and He has allowed me to share His testimony of my life with all of you.\u00a0 How can I not listen and accept His forgiveness?\u00a0\u00a0 I urge each one of you to step boldly<\/b> before His throne.\u00a0 Take that one step and He will take the 999.<\/p>\n

      Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
      \nRomans 8:1<\/b><\/p>\n

      _______________________________<\/p>\n

      Let\u2019s Pray:<\/b><\/p>\n

      Father, we are so grateful to be able to talk with You.\u00a0 To spend time with You.\u00a0 Help us to take that one step toward forgiveness.\u00a0 We admit there are times when it is hard, Lord, to forgive others, ourselves, or to accept Your forgiveness.\u00a0 Help us to trust You when You say there is no condemnation, and that You will turn our sins as white as snow.\u00a0 Father, You cannot lie and Your word says there is NO condemnation—we believe and receive that today.\u00a0 Help us to walk in that, Lord, and be able to forgive and let go of any resentments we are holding onto.<\/p>\n

      Lord, as we go through this week, guide us to those we need to make amends with—let us talk when we need to and be quiet when we need to.\u00a0 Open our hearts to hear from You and give us the strength and courage we need to take this step.\u00a0 Heal our hearts from the hurts, Lord.\u00a0 We love You, Father.\u00a0 We give all the glory and honor to You.\u00a0 In Jesus’ Name, Amen.<\/p>\n

      Your Assignment: <\/b><\/p>\n

      When we are talking of forgiveness, which is hardest: Forgiving others? \u00a0Accepting God\u2019s forgiveness? Or \u00a0forgiving yourself?\u00a0(You can also go to our private Facebook page and share there, as well.)<\/p>\n

      __________________________<\/p>\n

      If you would like to send a private message to Laurie in regards to this blog, please email her at Laurie@girlfriendscoffeehour.com<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Choice 6: Evaluate all my relationships.\u00a0 Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me, and make amends for harm I\u2019ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. ___________________________ This week we are going to look back at our inventory and learn how to repair the damage we have seen […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":9136,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[22],"tags":[44,10,1732,1731,425,1719,570,596,608,1720,1713,1714,873,1721],"class_list":["post-9152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-victorious-healing","tag-1-john-19","tag-forgiveness","tag-forgiving-others","tag-forgiving-those-who-have-hurt-you","tag-girlfriends-coffee-hour","tag-john-1930","tag-john-baker","tag-laurie-ellis","tag-lifes-healing-choices","tag-luke-747","tag-matthew-57","tag-matthew-59","tag-recovery","tag-romans-81","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/LHC_Chapter6.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p39pHp-2nC","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9152","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9152"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9152\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9225,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9152\/revisions\/9225"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9136"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9152"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9152"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/girlfriendscoffeehour.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9152"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}