February 24, 2018

Are You Trying to Be Perfect?

crystaldaughter0108“Mom, I‘m done with my room; does it have to be perfect?” These are the words coming from my nine-year-old daughter as she cleans her room. I suddenly realize that I have affirmed her with the word perfect when completing a task “I” felt was how it should be done.  What am I saying to her? Does she have to be perfect before I think she has done a good job?  If her grade improved from an 80 in math to 90, is that good or will she feel it needs to be a 100 to be accepted?  Increasing her grade by ten points is progress that needs to be celebrated and is a big accomplishment. I now speak to her differently because I want her to celebrate progress not perfection; something I have learned in my own life.

Perfect is such a common word used by women today and there seems to be a need to achieve it.  Then, when perfection is not acccomplished, feelings of failure, guilt, and insecurity can happen.

This year instead of setting unrealistic expectations, let us all focus on where and how we can grow instead of striving for perfection. Celebrating progress builds confidence with a life of wellness and balance.

Over the next few weeks, I want to get real and discuss the areas of life, we as women, can put undue pressures on our selves such as our health and fitness, spiritual life, career and as a wife and mother. Let’s talk about how we can grow and be better, not perfect.

I want my daughter to grow up feeling proud of her successes and good about her accomplishments.  I want her to have a mother who spends time and celebrates with her instead of working hard to have everything just perfect.

In Good Health,


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Interested in joining us for our next Online Bible Study that starts on January 13, 2014?   Click HERE for more details!

Why Do Resolutions Fail?

january 2014

It’s the New Year which usually brings weight loss goals, new exercise plans and sometimes crazy expectations of what we “should” do to improve our life. I must confess, I started the New Year by jotting down a few things that I was going to do in my personal life and business.  As I started writing them, I realized I lacked motivation and excitement to do any of them.  They were not me.  I was attempting to do what worked for others or what was “expected.”  I knew I would fail miserably.  I see many women doing the same thing to lose weight or improve their health. Their New Year resolutions consist of the latest fad diet, exercise regimen or programs that worked in years past and then wonder, “Why do resolutions fail?”

Once I admitted my “goals” would not work, I spent the morning revisiting the vision of my life I created just a few years back.  A vision that describes who I really am and who I want to be.  The person that brings a smile to my face and motivates me to set realistic goals with confidence that I can succeed.  The same applies with health and fitness resolutions. Trying to do what works for others but is unrealistic for your lifestyle will only leave feelings of failure and defeat.  Creating a healthy vision will dictate the type of diet and exercise plan to follow.

What’s Your Healthy Vision of Yourself?

Have you taken a little time to reflect, and write a health and wellness vision for what it is you want to be, look like and do?  For example,

“At my best level of health I am at peace with my body.  I have energy and balance in every area of my life and I am taking the time to eat healthy and exercise 3 days a week.”  

At YOUR very best, what would you say?

Do Your Goals Support Your Vision?
Often time resolutions fail because they do not really support who a woman is or truly wants to be.  Do the goals you set support that vision of who you want to be.

For example:

  • Do you desire energy…yet attempt to follow a fad diet that will drain your energy level?
  • Are you working to have life balance…yet have committed to new projects and committees for the year?
  • Do you really want to eat healthy…yet have purchased the new diet supplements you read about in the grocery line?
  • Are you hoping to exercise consistently…yet try to follow a new exercise plan that will never fit your lifestyle and schedule?

This year instead of trying a list of things you think you should do, I encourage you to take the time, even mediate and pray, and write  a  vision that describes a realistic, healthy you.  Then take the appropriate steps that support that vision.

Habakkuk 2:2-3, says,

And Jehovah answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tablets, that he may run that readeth it.

Why do resolutions, sometimes, fail?  There is no vision—just things to do.

In Good Health,


10 Ways to Stick to an Exercise Program – #2 Choose Something You Like

I have to confess when I turned 30, I set a goal to be a great swimmer and become a regular tennis player by the time I was 40.  Well, I am now 41.  I can count on one hand how many times I have gotten in the pool over the last ten years and I know for a fact I have only been on the tennis courts once.

The truth of the matter is I don’t like either one (I apologize to all the tennis players) nor did I have the time I need to spend on each of them with a busy, hectic schedule. It just did not fit with my schedule.  So in reality, I was setting myself up for failure. There was no way I could be consistent trying to swim or play tennis as a part of my personal exercise program.

Setting unrealistic goals and expectations by attempting to do things that you do not like may be what is keeping you from sticking to an exercise program. Who cares what someone else is doing. Yes, to see changes in your body and fitness, new exercises and intensities need to be incorporated, but find a few things that you like or can tolerate, so that you will adhere to your exercise program.

I am not giving up on tennis or swimming completely, but I know for now, it is too much of a burden to work for me. I love to run and lift weights. It works for my schedule and something I can do at home, even with my kids.

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To Your Health!


Have Time for Fitness…Physically and Spiritually


I remember my thoughts, very clearly, as I sat drinking coffee at 5:30 one morning. It was the week before I went back to work from maternity leave for my second child Zach.  We were now a family of four and I remembered all of the words of friends and family who said, “Two kids changes it up.”  Life is different when you go from one child to two.  How would I have time for fitness, physically and spiritually?

As I sat there, I began to realize all of the things on my plate, not my breakfast plate, but my plate of life.  I did a quick check list:

  • Full time job
  • New business
  • Volunteer work at church
  • New schedule with Hannah (my daughter) starting Kindergarten
  • New baby


Adding to all of that was my continued desire to have daily quality time with God, my husband, children, and exercise. They were all important to me, but were overwhelming and seemed impossible. It was then that I realized there were things I would have to take off my plate and let go of, if I truly wanted to focus on things that were important to me. As I thought about where my time went each day, I realized it was not all toward my priorities or really necessary. I knew I would have to make a few changes.

Such as:

  • Saying “yes” to things before thinking it through
  • Having my house perfectly cleaned and organized at the end of each day
  • Working hard to make sure everything goes according to MY plan (that can really take up a lot of time)
  • Giving up a favorite TV show

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about making exercise a priority.  Do you feel like you had good intentions of making it a priority, but still struggle to find the time to actually do it?  If so, it may be time to ask yourself two questions.

  1.  Is my time prioritized each day around what is important to me?
  2. Are there things I need to give up or add to focus on my priorities?

Improving our fitness and having a daily quiet time will not just happen. We have to be intentional with our time and sometimes that means giving up what may not be that important in the big scheme of things, certain responsibilities, or our own selfish desires.  God has shown me that, if I give my time to Him, He will help me find time for what is important, even now as a busy woman with a family of four.

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Finding time for your physical and spiritual fitness has to be intentional and usually comes about by making a few changes. Give your time and agenda to God and ask Him for guidance.  He will show you that you do have time for fitness, physically and spiritually.


If you have a question for Crystal in regards to this blog, please email her at: Crystal@girlfriendscoffeehour.com