February 21, 2018

Captivating: Chapter 10 – “Awkward Love” – “An Open Hand” (pp 183-187)

As we have seen, intimacy is not only an issue when dealing with relationships between men and women, but just as equally between women.  Friendships can go through the same challenges as any other relationship.  There are expectations, hurts, dependencies, and disappointments.  It is how we deal with these challenges that will determine the strength of your friendship.

Communication is essential in any successful relationship.  This isn’t always easy.  If you are like me you may not like to “rock the boat.”  It is easier to not say anything than to lovingly confront your friend.  While that may be a temporary band-aid that will cover the issues, it will inevitably lead to an infectious resentment or hurt.  As many, if not all of us, can relate, if we don’t talk about an issue when it first comes up, chances are that it will come out later in a more explosive, less loving manner.  That doesn’t serve any relationship well.  Talk, repent and forgive.  Love like Jesus.

“In your relationships with one another have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” 

Philippians 2:5

Another important aspect of a successful relationship is your own personal security of your identity in Christ.  I definitely saw myself in the examples given by the author of this book in comparing our “fallen” selves to our “redeemed” selves.

Fallen women want people to come through for them.  Redeemed women knows Christ has come through for them, and are more free to give of themselves and “put themselves out there.

Fallen women have been hurt so they withdraw from relationship to avoid further pain. Redeemed women know they are valuable and secure in the Lord, so they are able to be vulnerable.

fallen women

I don’t know about you, but I thank God I am redeemed!  This, for me, was the ultimate “take away” from this section. No matter what we do, no matter the relationship, when we do it with the prompting and guidance of the Holy Spirt, and we do our best to love others like Jesus loves us, we can’t help but find the intimacy we long for.  It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it.  God is so good, and I am so thankful for His faithfulness!

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”   

Proverbs 17:17


Father, thank You.  Thank You for showing us what love is.  Thank You for giving us an example to follow.   Please help us when it is hard for us to face the tough stuff.  Give us Your strength, mercy, and grace as we deal with the relationships that mean so much to us.  Let us rest in the security of Your love, and be free to give that love to others.  In You, this is more than possible.  In Your Heavenly Name we pray. Amen.


Friendship is such a great gift! How can you nurture, guard, and fight for your friendships?


 If you would like to send Michelle a private email in regards to this blog post, you may email her at:  Michelle@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com



Girls With Swords by Lisa Bevere

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About Michelle Graziano

Michelle Graziano – Blog Contributor – Singles Ministry Co-Leader
Michelle is from the State of New Jersey. She is the mom to her handsome 6 yr old son, Connor. She owns a baking business, loves crafts, and anything to do with organizing and creating. She is involved with praise and worship and youth ministry at her local church.


  1. michelle, this is beautiful! i so appreciate your encouraging, admonishing words covered with so much grace! and i am echoing your prayer…in Him, this IS more than possible! <3

  2. As I told you, this message spoke to me in VOLUMES today! God used you at just the right time, to speak for Him, Michelle. You had no idea, but God sure did! Thank you for being so obedient to Him!

  3. I have been fallen until about a year ago. I am so thankful to be in a different place. Friendships can be tough when things change and it’s much easier to deal with that if you are a redeemed woman rather than a fallen woman!

  4. This is an interesting blog post I just happen to stumble upon this today and it spoke to me in a huge way thank you and it is better to deal with the situation when it arises but sometimes when you confront the friend the way you or feeling , they always come back with this happens all the time or something else , so friendships are tuff espically if you don’t feel comfortable bringing up things that you think or feel