February 25, 2018

Winning Him Without Words: Weekly Overview

“Whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge:  

thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.”

Ruth 1:16  

Yes, that was the scripture the minister spoke over my husband and me on our wedding day.

  1. From a peanut farm in Georgia to Tripoli Lybia, North Africa and on to Maine, Louisiana, Texas. Never would I have thought that  “going whither he goest and “lodged” would take me to so many places.

  2. His people became my dearest family.

  3. And then it happened – -seven years into the marriage, I met someone that separated us.  His name was Jesus, and at that point, my husband’s god was no longer my God.

It was then I set out on a mission to accomplish my #1 goal in my marriage – – -“Save my Husband,”  so that he would, not only go to hell, but enjoy this new man in my life with me.

But, no matter how hard I tried, he wouldn’t buy into it. To add to my place of defeat, I received a prophetic word that said:  “Sometimes we are looking for a closer relationship for our loved ones, when at the moment God is looking for that relationship with us.”

What I wanted to say to this person giving this prophetic word was:  “You missed it.  God and me are tight!  It’s my husband who needs to be in a relationship, and I am going to be the one who helps him obtain it.”  But, the Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder one day and politely told me that He didn’t need my help; He could handle things.

And so it was, I had to stop doing what our author, Lynn Donovan, refers to as “spiritual ambush.”  [pg 40]

As Beverly, Jennifer, Donna, and Sarah outlined each topic in Chapter 2, they bought us to a place of discovering

  • where we have been on our journey in trying to “Save Our Husbands”

  • where we are now

  • and where the Holy Spirit is leading us.


Let’s review their points on Chapter 2 now.

Monday:  Don’t Save Your Husband, Save Yourself – -Beverly told us of all the many things she once did to get her husbands saved and in a relationship with the Lord. Beverly describes these manipulative efforts at soul winning as a handbook on how NOT to win your spouse to Christ.

Beverly arrived at an important decision about her soul winning efforts: “I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and he gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.

May we do likewise.

Tuesday:  It’s Safe to Relinquish Control – -Jennifer pointed us to the fact that we know that we can’t save our husbands, but relinquishing our control is hard to do.  She agree with the reasons that Lynn stated that made it so hard.   [page 44]

  • I am the only believer my husband encounters on a regular basis

  • I am the one person who is actively praying for him

  • If I do not show my husband Jesus, who will?

But, Jennifer pointed to Lynn’s statement that made a humbling impression on her to stop the control game.  You are underestimating the power of the Lord in your life.  [pg. 44]

May we do likewise.

Wednesday:   Throw Me a Life Preserver:   Donna pointed us to the reality that we are always in need of refining within our marriage. Forgiveness is one thing that is usually part of that refining process, which could go back to things that happened to us in childhood.  It is those experiences that might have left us with anger, bitterness, and a controlling nature.  Those things hurt our marriage and each other.

Donna summed it us by saying:  “I have found that when I hang onto God and trust him to be in control I find freedom and, to quote our author, God can change little ole me and my marriage for His glory.

May we do likewise.

Thursday:  A Daily Prayer / How Should We Pray—Sarah brought us back to the place we should be before we got on the bandwagon of trying to Save Our Husbands – – -Prayer!

Even with that revelation, Sarah points to the fact that we have to rid ourselves of distractions, get focused, and the ultimate question of “How to Pray.”

What works for Sarah has been:

  • Praying in the morning, which frees my mind of the day’s worries because nothing has happened yet to worry or stress me out! Another benefit to praying in the morning is I am better prepared to handle anything that may come along to worry or stress me out!

  • To stay focus, Sarah started a prayer journal, as Lynn suggested.  She says that by writing her prayers out in long hand, really brings her focus onto the paper and away from the distractions in the room.

  • How to Pray, Sarah says that praying from her Bible, using the right scriptures for what she needs God’s help in, but really didn’t know how to ask.  She turns those scriptures into a personal prayer.

Sarah’s new prayer life is inspiring a special person in her life – – HER HUSBAND!

May we do likewise!

Friday:  Discovery/Prayer:  Father God, if I could pray just one simple prayer for myself, and this whole community of women who are desiring a closer walk with you, it would be this:  “Help us to be doers of your word, and not just hearers.”  Those things that you have revealed to us this week are priceless.  Help us walk them out.  In Jesus name, I pray.


For those who are reading this blog and would like to join the Bible study, we would love to invite you to join us!  Click here and follow the instructions, (you can also click the SIGN-UP link in the menu bar above to be taken to the form). It’s that simple!  We hope to see you soon!

Above all, if you have not accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior, and would like to have someone pray with you, please email us at Prayer@GirlfriendsCoffeeHour.com. and one of our prayer team members will contact you.

Blessings to you,



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About Martha Bush

Martha Bush — Blog Contributor
Martha has been married to her amazing husband for 46 years. Together they have two grown daughters, and three grandchildren, of whom she is very proud of! She lives in Orange, Texas. Martha has been involved in ministry with her church for 20 years. Some of her favorite hobbies include reading, walking, and playing with her grandchildren.


  1. We've tackled some pretty tough issues this week in this study. I'm so thankful for a God that walks with me on this journey, and a team of beautiful women who are learning right along with me! <3

  2. Matha all I can say is awesome blog!! You covered the points exactly and I learned from all of you this week! Praise God!!

  3. thanks, martha…for the recap (always helpful!) and for your prayer. for me, i am reminded YET AGAIN that unless my heart is focused toward God and i am having conversation w/Him by praying and listening, my struggles will not change. <3

    • Coleen I read your comment and a lightbulb went on. My struggles will not change unless I am changed by spending time with God daily. Thank you <3

    • Coleen, you are so right that it has to come with a heart change before we experience an outward change in behavior. However, I believe that God wants us to be completely honest with Him; tell Him you are struggling in focusing on Him in prayer; admit that you cannot do this alone; and ask Him to help you. David said in Psalm 142:2 – -I poured out my complaint before the Lord, I showed before Him my trouble." This verse has helped me time and time again to pour out my feelings and tell God exactly what I am struggleing with, instead of beating myself up or pretending to me something that I am not. Hope this helps you.

  4. Martha your prophetic word reminds me of the song lyric "looking for love in all the wrong places" & is something that God has been speaking to me about quite frequently. God has shown me I desire a closer relationship with my husband than I do with Him & I am looking to my husband instead of to God to meet my needs. When I read that statement, I knew I was guilty & still struggling. Thank you for reminding me that God has to be my #1 priority & focus.

    • To add another prophetic word I received, it touched on exactly what you are saying now. The words were: "You've looked for your security and your happiness, too, in the lives of others, but that's not my plan for you. I am freeing you today to free you for me." Little did I realize how much I had, indeed, looked to my husband for security and happiness, until God began to take me down a path where I was freed from that security. It was a hard test, but I can tell you now, with that new found freedom, I found a relationship with the Lord that I had never had, and He is still drawing me closer. I encourage you to listen to what the Lord is telling you on your heart. Thanks for giving me the time to play back a very important time in my life. Hope it helps you.

  5. God and i <3 you ladies! just sayin'!

  6. Beverly McCormick says:

    Thanks Martha for your sweet spirit and helping us to "see"….have a wonderful weekend!

  7. So beautiful when you see the "Light" come on!!! Thank You Lord Jesus!!!

  8. What a great way to sum up the week! I love this study and all you women involved, new truths are being revealed! Thank you to all the ladies who have blogged and replied this week, your comments and thoughts have put these truths into action in my life, and others…..saving marriages one day at a time! Yay God! 🙂